Thursday 23 September 2010

Mean aunt

I've had to read the riot act to my niece.  Really lay it on thick.

My parents - her legal guardians - know that I'm her nominal "role model" so of course I have a role to play in helping them to correct her bad behaviour.  When I saw them last weekend, my mum had tears welling in her eyes as she told me how awful her week had been.  My niece started secondary school last September and she's had upwards of 17 detentions since then.  But in the last week or two she's had one almost every day.  She's not doing her homework and she also screams and shouts at my mum when she's told to do it.  My mum's been crying a lot throughout the week as from her perspective my niece is "just like her mother" - lazy and horrible when confronted - and she can't face going through all that again.  My mum tends to label children a bit ...  Anyway, on Sunday I took my niece aside and began to lay it on really thick.  Obviously it's going to take more than one go at this (yeah, like that's even my first given that she's been getting detentions all year) so last night I followed things up.  Apparently she's done less screaming and shouting, but she's also had detention every day this week.  Including today because she told me last night she hadn't done her art homework (this was 8pm. She was very insistent it was too late. Not that I accepted that...).

I don't really get it.  I was never like this.  My (favourite) sister was never like this.  Other sister (not niece's mother) was never like this- even though she was never very good at school she got on with it.

So I did what I had to do.  "I'm really disappointed in you".  She went quiet.  So quiet that after a few seconds I had to ask if she was there.  I hit a nerve, I'm sure, but whether it will achieve anything... well.

I've asked her if anything's wrong... reminded her that she can tell me and that I'm here for her.  She says there's nothing ("maybe it's just because I'm almost a teenager now").  Maybe it's possible the child's just lazy.  She's also got a piss-poor concentration span (she can't read books, she says, but only magazines, because she can't concentrate on them).  But she can try, can't she?

I'm following up in two days.

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